So, today I had an unfortunate encounter. I was checking my e-mail at McDonalds, when I noticed a pack of tweakers walk in...with young children in tow. I try and not judge folks right off the bat, but my own life experiences told me that they were TOTALLY on the pipe. I tried to distract myself, but I watched as the mother, did a casual dope deal and then adjourned to the bathroom. The fact that she came out with the sniffles only solidified my original impression. I did my best to ignore them, but after I left to have a much needed cigarette (I'm down to 5-10 a day...) I saw the mother empty an entire can of 4Loko in a matter of MAYBE 2-3 minutes, and then proceede to call her children over and buckle them in.
That's when I couldn't hold back. I asked the mother "Ma'am, do you think it's a wise idea to be drinking and driving with your kids?" Of course, this backfired. She flipped out and screamed at me. Her "man" came outside and also screamed at me. This continued until I offered, calmly, to call my Uncle. I'm not thrilled at the prospect of doing this, but since he's been the Sheriff in this county for awhile, I figured he wouldn't mind dispatching a few of his guys to my location. That cooled them out in a jiffy.
Afterwards, another couple came up to me and said "thank you" for trying to do the right thing. I suppose it was the right thing to do, but it left me feeling slightly ill. I'm no stranger to the darker elements in society, but that's kind of why I "dropped out". To avoid the very thing(s) I saw today. On a psychological level, incidents like that hurt me in a way that even your average news broadcast cannot. All the while I was witnessing this, a little voice (who sounds suspiciously like Jiminy Cricket...damn you Disney!) said, "You can't just LET her get into that car with those kids! She's intoxicated!" I'm no saint. Far from it. However, I've always had a rule: "Screw your life up as bad as you want to. Just leave the innocents behind."
I had a great post on learning to cook with my new propane stove, but this incident has left me mute, save for the topic I just brought up. Ok, I'm whipping up some Earl Grey and hitting the sack early tonight. I'm still disgusted. :/
Monday, April 22, 2013
Sunday, April 21, 2013
On being a "hermit"
Someone asked me recently why I chose the title "Vandwelling hermit". It's not that I'm anti-social, I make friends easily enough, it's that I am so weary from the stresses of mainstream society. The series of incidents that led to my living in a van were definitely not the most pleasant time in my life, but now having "made the plunge" as it were, I feel a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can easily live off 10$ a day, I have no pressure to conform to a mold that I simply don't fit, and my obligations are pretty much to myself and noone else. Do I plan to live this way forever? Probably not. When the time comes to re-integrate back into society, I think I'll be better prepared. This has been a time of self-reflection and deep introspection. I've had to confront a lot of hard truths about myself and my life over these past few weeks.
It can be lonely, I guess, but I've kind of always been lonely. A child born blind from birth has only the most rudimentry understanding of what "sight" must be like. Much in the same way that I understand what "lonely" must be. I've been this way for so long, that it just seems to be a part of who I am. I've had friends, been married/had girlfriends, but deep down there was always just me knocking around my brain at night before I put my head down on my pillow and slept. In a way, I think my self-imposed exile will make me even more grateful for the few relationships I chose to cultivate.
It's been a cathartic experience writing this blog so far. I guess what I'm hoping for is some kind of understanding about myself. And to point out to the particulars of what a vandwelling life is like, for the uninitiated.
One thing I took for granted: Air Conditioning. It gets pretty damn hot in the van, even when the temprature is 80f. The various fast-food/coffee house/libraries that I frequent all have ice-cold A/C. It's gearing up to be Summer in my neck of the woods, and the heat wasn't something I considered. I've been putting in my application at various business lately, if only for the paycheck and the chance to be out of the heat for a bit.
I suppose finding employment is step number one to my re-integration process. However, I'm not sure I'm going to move out of the van any time soon. When I feel ready to put my roots down somewhere, I'll do it happily. But, for now, I feel no real urge to do so. I'm tinkering with the idea of upgrading to a small RV and heading out to Colorado or Idaho, just to get a feel of what the other western states are like. Somewhere that isn't as fast paced as California (or as expensive for that matter...)
It can be lonely, I guess, but I've kind of always been lonely. A child born blind from birth has only the most rudimentry understanding of what "sight" must be like. Much in the same way that I understand what "lonely" must be. I've been this way for so long, that it just seems to be a part of who I am. I've had friends, been married/had girlfriends, but deep down there was always just me knocking around my brain at night before I put my head down on my pillow and slept. In a way, I think my self-imposed exile will make me even more grateful for the few relationships I chose to cultivate.
It's been a cathartic experience writing this blog so far. I guess what I'm hoping for is some kind of understanding about myself. And to point out to the particulars of what a vandwelling life is like, for the uninitiated.
One thing I took for granted: Air Conditioning. It gets pretty damn hot in the van, even when the temprature is 80f. The various fast-food/coffee house/libraries that I frequent all have ice-cold A/C. It's gearing up to be Summer in my neck of the woods, and the heat wasn't something I considered. I've been putting in my application at various business lately, if only for the paycheck and the chance to be out of the heat for a bit.
I suppose finding employment is step number one to my re-integration process. However, I'm not sure I'm going to move out of the van any time soon. When I feel ready to put my roots down somewhere, I'll do it happily. But, for now, I feel no real urge to do so. I'm tinkering with the idea of upgrading to a small RV and heading out to Colorado or Idaho, just to get a feel of what the other western states are like. Somewhere that isn't as fast paced as California (or as expensive for that matter...)
Saturday, April 20, 2013
How I spent my Saturday...
I didn't sleep all that well last night. I ended up having to move to another campsite when another couple of people showed up and starting getting hammered and being loud. Besides being noisy, they are an attention magnet. After I woke up, I went to McDonalds to get some coffee and check my e-mail/Reddit. I was accosted by this guy saying he needed a couple of bucks for gas. It was maybe 55f outside and this guy in a t-shirt, sweating profusely and shaking. I made sure and locked up the van afterwards. The town I live in has a pretty low crime level, so long as you avoid certain neighborhoods. I'm considering moving my campsites to the next town over (which happens to be a small, quaint college town populated by hippies of all ages).
After leaving Mcd's I cleaned out the van and simplified my wardrobe, so that I have more room to move around. This is the drawback to sleeping in a mini-van, especially when you're 6"3. So, with space getting to be limited, I'm trying a few things to make the most use of it. So: 1. I'm building a bed that fits over my storage bins 2. Only having the bare minimum of clothing (the rest is kept for me in the trunk of my mom's car). 3. Get an aluminum surplus army mess kit (no more paper plates and plastic forks).
The Burger King closest to me has a HD flatscreen that was tuned to the LA Angels game, so I sat there and watched it. It was nice and cool inside, as opposed to the 87f it was outside. I went to my campsite early today, as it is 4/20 and I wanted to partake in the festivites and I refuse to drive while stoned. I have my Rx and can partake legally, but living on a budget while trying to get a job, means I don't smoke very often anymore. Likewise, I've stopped drinking as well. I had a pretty tough time with booze the past few years, but that's a tale for another day. I spent the remainder of the day hanging out near Starbucks reading comic books on my laptop (Joker: The Killing Joke & Batman: Year One for the curious) and talking to a few of the regulars/employees that I'm friendly with.
All in all it was a nice day. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this Vandwelling-thing.
After leaving Mcd's I cleaned out the van and simplified my wardrobe, so that I have more room to move around. This is the drawback to sleeping in a mini-van, especially when you're 6"3. So, with space getting to be limited, I'm trying a few things to make the most use of it. So: 1. I'm building a bed that fits over my storage bins 2. Only having the bare minimum of clothing (the rest is kept for me in the trunk of my mom's car). 3. Get an aluminum surplus army mess kit (no more paper plates and plastic forks).
The Burger King closest to me has a HD flatscreen that was tuned to the LA Angels game, so I sat there and watched it. It was nice and cool inside, as opposed to the 87f it was outside. I went to my campsite early today, as it is 4/20 and I wanted to partake in the festivites and I refuse to drive while stoned. I have my Rx and can partake legally, but living on a budget while trying to get a job, means I don't smoke very often anymore. Likewise, I've stopped drinking as well. I had a pretty tough time with booze the past few years, but that's a tale for another day. I spent the remainder of the day hanging out near Starbucks reading comic books on my laptop (Joker: The Killing Joke & Batman: Year One for the curious) and talking to a few of the regulars/employees that I'm friendly with.
All in all it was a nice day. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this Vandwelling-thing.
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Vandwelling Hermit #2
So, today I found a nice place to park that allows me to shower and wash my clothing (1.50 for 1 wash & dry cycle). I decided to give my new camp site a quick glance over and it seems safe. I took a 2 hour nap during the height of the afternoon and was not discovered. A guy parked next to the van and didn't seem to notice me in the slightest. That's kind of what I'm going for. Stealth camping can be hard, but there are always place in any city that will serve as a temporary rest stop, without too much worrying about being rousted by the police or criminals.
Here is a list of single-burner (propane) recipies that I've tried/will try in the next 2 months. It's going to be simple camp meals for the next few weeks or so, but that ought to allow me to save up enough money to upgrade the van/get healthy/cut back on smoking/obtain some form of employemt, and get my drivers licsense renewed. After I do accomplish this, I'll start another list.
I'm highly considering a simple solar system w/a second battery & inverter, to supplement my power supply. Also, a AAA/AA/C/D solar charger as they are relatively cheap and you can set one up in a second. Most of my power needs are: Laptop, AA rechargable batteries for my am/fm radio, small 5w flourecent light. I'll be sure and add a scanner that can pick up local police broadcasts, so that I am not caught unawares.
Here is a list of single-burner (propane) recipies that I've tried/will try in the next 2 months. It's going to be simple camp meals for the next few weeks or so, but that ought to allow me to save up enough money to upgrade the van/get healthy/cut back on smoking/obtain some form of employemt, and get my drivers licsense renewed. After I do accomplish this, I'll start another list.
I'm highly considering a simple solar system w/a second battery & inverter, to supplement my power supply. Also, a AAA/AA/C/D solar charger as they are relatively cheap and you can set one up in a second. Most of my power needs are: Laptop, AA rechargable batteries for my am/fm radio, small 5w flourecent light. I'll be sure and add a scanner that can pick up local police broadcasts, so that I am not caught unawares.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
04/16/2013
So it's my first night back in the van. The van in question is a 1996 Ford Windstar. This is just about the make/model I have. It's got over 200,000 miles and other than the battery I recently replaced, it's in pretty good condition. I've been living in motels off and on for the past month and a half, and though I've spent a few nights sleeping in it, living full-time in the van is a recent choice I've made. I'm on state disability and that pays me close to 500$ a month, which is just enough to get by. My goal is to re-enter the workforce and eventually upgrade to an RV of sorts.
Plans for the van:
* Curtains and a reflective sunscreen to maintain some sembalance of privacy.
* A 5-day cooler (I can get ice for free)
* 12v cigarette-lighter port charger/second battery that can charge as I drive
* Solar trickle charger for both batteries
* Airbed or thick foam mattress
* Single burner propane stove and basic mess kit
* AAA/AA/C/D/usb solar battery charger
* Three drawer plastic file cabinent to store clothing/dry goods/etc
* Extra Storage bin
* Properly measured piece of plywood to sit upon both storage bins to make a bed out of
...So I have my work cut out for me. I'm going to keep a minimum amount of clothing: 3x pairs of Jeans/2x pair of slacks/6xt-shirts/2xdressshirts/6pair of socks/underwear and a wool all-weather jacket for cold nights.
Basically, I'm at a point where I just can't seem to get things together (job, housing, school) and having the van will make it easy for me to apply for jobs and sleep comfortably. Showering can be done at the local junior college, which I recently attended. Otherwise, I use dollar-store baby wipes/3in1 shampoo/bodywash/conditioner in a sink.
Living on a fixed income can be tough to do when it's just under 500$ a month, especially with gas and insurance. Even a part-time job would provide me with 750-1000$. So my first goal is to gain employment, then start making the van a real home.
Parking it is kind of a tricky thing. I park close enough to a 24-hour pharmacy to be discreet as well as have a place to use the restroom 24/7. Sadly, "mobile homelessness" is a crime in my city. Even if I am doing nothing more than sleeping for 6-8 hours after dark. So, I take pains to select a site that is covert and where my van won't immediately scream "ILLEGAL CAMPING VEHICLE!!!"
I usually arrive after dark and make a token purchase at the pharmacy/grocery store so that, if questioned, I can provide a reason for my parking my vehicle. The real goal, though, is to avoid any sort of attention. I have a few other spots mapped out and pretty soon I'll have a 7-day schedule of where I'm sleeping for the night. Internet/bathrooms are a blessing and I try to park near those as much as I am able.
So, tomorrow I am going to my local "donated clothes closet" to score some duds for future interviews. Having a job would be a godsend. I could live well-enough on 1,000$ a month, while still saving up for a more conventional RV. I can always get a meal at the local soup kitchens as well as foodstamps that I receive.
I try and make use of Amazons MTURK service for at least 1-2 hours a day (5-10$ approx) so that I can have some money for gas/etc. I use google voice for voicemail/phone calls so that I can stay in contact with potential employers. I get anywhere from 10-20 free bus vouchers a month from my social worker, and I use those to get to/from job interviews and other important errands, so as to save gas.
I can't imagine my life is all that exciting, but I read often and I tinker around with GNU/Linux distrobutions. A long-term goal is to have a customizeable distro that runs on an arduino device (with antenna) installed on the van itself.
I'll be working on that as soon as I have funds.
Well, fellow vandwellers and the curious, I'm leaving the Starbucks that I'm at and heading for tonights campsite. Tomorrow is a busy day for me!
-VanDwellingHermit
So it's my first night back in the van. The van in question is a 1996 Ford Windstar. This is just about the make/model I have. It's got over 200,000 miles and other than the battery I recently replaced, it's in pretty good condition. I've been living in motels off and on for the past month and a half, and though I've spent a few nights sleeping in it, living full-time in the van is a recent choice I've made. I'm on state disability and that pays me close to 500$ a month, which is just enough to get by. My goal is to re-enter the workforce and eventually upgrade to an RV of sorts.
Plans for the van:
* Curtains and a reflective sunscreen to maintain some sembalance of privacy.
* A 5-day cooler (I can get ice for free)
* 12v cigarette-lighter port charger/second battery that can charge as I drive
* Solar trickle charger for both batteries
* Airbed or thick foam mattress
* Single burner propane stove and basic mess kit
* AAA/AA/C/D/usb solar battery charger
* Three drawer plastic file cabinent to store clothing/dry goods/etc
* Extra Storage bin
* Properly measured piece of plywood to sit upon both storage bins to make a bed out of
...So I have my work cut out for me. I'm going to keep a minimum amount of clothing: 3x pairs of Jeans/2x pair of slacks/6xt-shirts/2xdressshirts/6pair of socks/underwear and a wool all-weather jacket for cold nights.
Basically, I'm at a point where I just can't seem to get things together (job, housing, school) and having the van will make it easy for me to apply for jobs and sleep comfortably. Showering can be done at the local junior college, which I recently attended. Otherwise, I use dollar-store baby wipes/3in1 shampoo/bodywash/conditioner in a sink.
Living on a fixed income can be tough to do when it's just under 500$ a month, especially with gas and insurance. Even a part-time job would provide me with 750-1000$. So my first goal is to gain employment, then start making the van a real home.
Parking it is kind of a tricky thing. I park close enough to a 24-hour pharmacy to be discreet as well as have a place to use the restroom 24/7. Sadly, "mobile homelessness" is a crime in my city. Even if I am doing nothing more than sleeping for 6-8 hours after dark. So, I take pains to select a site that is covert and where my van won't immediately scream "ILLEGAL CAMPING VEHICLE!!!"
I usually arrive after dark and make a token purchase at the pharmacy/grocery store so that, if questioned, I can provide a reason for my parking my vehicle. The real goal, though, is to avoid any sort of attention. I have a few other spots mapped out and pretty soon I'll have a 7-day schedule of where I'm sleeping for the night. Internet/bathrooms are a blessing and I try to park near those as much as I am able.
So, tomorrow I am going to my local "donated clothes closet" to score some duds for future interviews. Having a job would be a godsend. I could live well-enough on 1,000$ a month, while still saving up for a more conventional RV. I can always get a meal at the local soup kitchens as well as foodstamps that I receive.
I try and make use of Amazons MTURK service for at least 1-2 hours a day (5-10$ approx) so that I can have some money for gas/etc. I use google voice for voicemail/phone calls so that I can stay in contact with potential employers. I get anywhere from 10-20 free bus vouchers a month from my social worker, and I use those to get to/from job interviews and other important errands, so as to save gas.
I can't imagine my life is all that exciting, but I read often and I tinker around with GNU/Linux distrobutions. A long-term goal is to have a customizeable distro that runs on an arduino device (with antenna) installed on the van itself.
I'll be working on that as soon as I have funds.
Well, fellow vandwellers and the curious, I'm leaving the Starbucks that I'm at and heading for tonights campsite. Tomorrow is a busy day for me!
-VanDwellingHermit
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